Patience

Ephesians 4:2  Conduct yourselves with all humility, gentleness, and patience. Accept each other in love.

Romans 12:12 Be happy in your hope, be patient when you’re in trouble, and devote yourselves to prayer

Since I’ve started writing these, it seems as though I can find a thousand flaws in myself.  Patience is one more thing that I need some work on.  I tend to assess situations and develop a “fix” for things in my mind, and usually I don’t take the time to hear or see the perspective from another view point.

Case in point – my wife and I will be having a conversation about a matter that is fairly important to our family.  During the conversation, I will play out the script in my head as to how that conversation will go.  I’ll reach the conclusion and make assumptions, and before we’re halfway through the conversation, I’m done and ready to move on.  However, my scripts normally aren’t right, and thus my end point of that conversation is way off course.  This leads to frustration for both of us, and my wife left feeling like her opinions and her concerns aren’t important.

I’ve also found that I tend to expect immediate results.  I assessed the situation and I’ve done what I said I was going to do, why isn’t it WORKING?

You know, like when you’re out on the lake fishing.  You’ve not had a bite all day and you decide that you need to change bait.  You tie a new lure on the line and cast out, anticipation builds as you slowly real in the line, this is going to work.  I know a different color and/or shape is going to make all the difference.  The lure gets to the rod tip.  A second cast and this time I real just a bit quicker, nothing…a third time…a fourth.  Now frustrated, I debate should I change lures, should I change locations.  Patience may be a virtue, but it is a virtue that either doesn’t run deep in me or I cannot readily locate it.

As you have read, my lack of patience does not just impact one aspect of my life, but blankets me in whatever I am involved.   As I’ve grown in years, I’ve found that I want and need to do things a bit differently.  The energy I have previously spent in frustration, I now increasingly want to use it in a more productive manner.   I’m attempting to create a habit where I immediately look for help when faced with a situation.  “Father, please give me wisdom to assess the situation, the loving words from my mouth and from the mouths of others to help resolve the situation, and God give me the patience to hear others and to wait for You.   I need Your help Father.”

It’s been a struggle to take a moment, breathe, and as for help, but I do find that when I ask, He is there at my side.