There’s a difference between speaking truth and throwing stones. It’s tempting to address difficult situations from a distance—be it from a pulpit, behind a keyboard, or even within a group. But true courage often requires stepping out of the crowd and speaking directly to someone with love and integrity. This one-on-one approach is not only more challenging but also reflects the heart of God’s desire for reconciliation and restoration.
The story of Nathan confronting King David in 2 Samuel 12:1-7 offers a powerful biblical example. After David’s sin with Bathsheba, Nathan could have rebuked the king publicly or in front of his court. Instead, he approached David privately, using a parable to reveal the gravity of his actions. By speaking to David directly, Nathan not only delivered God’s truth but also provided David an opportunity to repent without humiliation. This kind of confrontation is not about shaming—it’s about guiding someone back to the path of righteousness.
In contrast, consider the story in John 8:3-11, where a crowd brought a woman caught in adultery to Jesus, ready to stone her. The crowd acted in self-righteousness, hiding behind their numbers. But Jesus diffused the situation by calling for personal accountability, saying, “Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone.” He then spoke to the woman privately, showing her grace and urging her to change her life. This highlights the importance of avoiding mob mentality when addressing sin or wrongdoing.
A more modern example comes from Abraham Lincoln. During his presidency, Lincoln often faced criticism, even from members of his own cabinet. Yet, Lincoln was known for his ability to confront disagreements directly and thoughtfully. One famous instance occurred with Edwin Stanton, his Secretary of War, who initially insulted and opposed Lincoln. Rather than respond publicly or angrily, Lincoln approached Stanton with patience and grace. Over time, their working relationship transformed into one of mutual respect, and Stanton became one of Lincoln’s greatest supporters. Lincoln’s example reminds us that speaking truth directly, with humility, can bring about reconciliation and even strengthen relationships.
On the other hand, we’ve all seen situations where someone criticizes another person from afar—be it in a sermon, on social media, or in gossip. While the words may contain truth, the method often undermines the message. It’s easier to address someone indirectly, but it’s far less effective in bringing about change. As Proverbs 27:6 reminds us, “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.” A private, honest conversation carries far more weight than a public rebuke that feels impersonal or self-serving.
Practically speaking, approaching someone directly can be uncomfortable. It requires humility, empathy, and a willingness to listen. But it’s also an opportunity to model Christ’s love. Imagine the difference it would make if, instead of criticizing someone in a sermon, a pastor or leader met with them privately to discuss their concerns. That act of courage could open the door to healing, understanding, and transformation.
Jesus modeled this one-on-one approach consistently. He didn’t just preach to crowds; He also engaged individuals like Zacchaeus, Nicodemus, and the Samaritan woman at the well. Each of these encounters was deeply personal, and because of that, they were profoundly impactful. Speaking truth directly to someone, rather than at someone, is an act of love that mirrors Christ’s ministry.
In today’s world, where it’s easy to throw “stones” from behind a pulpit, keyboard, or group of like-minded people, we’re called to a higher standard. Speaking truth to power is not about shaming or overpowering—it’s about seeking reconciliation, restoration, and justice in a way that honors God. So, let’s ask ourselves: Are we speaking truth with courage and integrity, or are we simply throwing stones from a distance?