Patience

Ephesians 4:2  Conduct yourselves with all humility, gentleness, and patience. Accept each other in love.

Romans 12:12 Be happy in your hope, be patient when you’re in trouble, and devote yourselves to prayer

Since I’ve started writing these, it seems as though I can find a thousand flaws in myself.  Patience is one more thing that I need some work on.  I tend to assess situations and develop a “fix” for things in my mind, and usually I don’t take the time to hear or see the perspective from another view point.

Case in point – my wife and I will be having a conversation about a matter that is fairly important to our family.  During the conversation, I will play out the script in my head as to how that conversation will go.  I’ll reach the conclusion and make assumptions, and before we’re halfway through the conversation, I’m done and ready to move on.  However, my scripts normally aren’t right, and thus my end point of that conversation is way off course.  This leads to frustration for both of us, and my wife left feeling like her opinions and her concerns aren’t important.

I’ve also found that I tend to expect immediate results.  I assessed the situation and I’ve done what I said I was going to do, why isn’t it WORKING?

You know, like when you’re out on the lake fishing.  You’ve not had a bite all day and you decide that you need to change bait.  You tie a new lure on the line and cast out, anticipation builds as you slowly real in the line, this is going to work.  I know a different color and/or shape is going to make all the difference.  The lure gets to the rod tip.  A second cast and this time I real just a bit quicker, nothing…a third time…a fourth.  Now frustrated, I debate should I change lures, should I change locations.  Patience may be a virtue, but it is a virtue that either doesn’t run deep in me or I cannot readily locate it.

As you have read, my lack of patience does not just impact one aspect of my life, but blankets me in whatever I am involved.   As I’ve grown in years, I’ve found that I want and need to do things a bit differently.  The energy I have previously spent in frustration, I now increasingly want to use it in a more productive manner.   I’m attempting to create a habit where I immediately look for help when faced with a situation.  “Father, please give me wisdom to assess the situation, the loving words from my mouth and from the mouths of others to help resolve the situation, and God give me the patience to hear others and to wait for You.   I need Your help Father.”

It’s been a struggle to take a moment, breathe, and as for help, but I do find that when I ask, He is there at my side.

Words

Luke 21:15 I’ll give you words and wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to counter or contradict.

Does anything else really need to be said? No, probably not, but I feel as though He has given me this topic and the words to explain this a bit further.

Well, when was the last time you were in a difficult situation and rather than taking a moment to compose your thoughts, you lashed out? I can tell you, sadly, that mine is more recent than I care to admit.

My son had received some bad news about a tryout he’d had earlier in the week. I didn’t know he’d gotten word of the results, but could see that he was not in a good mood. I asked him a very simple question and he lashed out verbally. I tried to remain calm and asked him another question and he continued to vent his disappointment my way. I’d taken all I could and snapped back. Well from that point, the proverbial fight was on. Before it was all said and done he, I, and my wife (yes she was there to witness it all) were angry, hurt and embarrassed. Had I only taken a couple of seconds, or even a minute to calmly ask for the words to handle the situation, things may have taken a different path.

This verse is actually part of a lesson taught by Jesus to His disciples and is just as important a lesson today as it was when He walked with us. In it, He describes to them the trial that they are going to face and He is reassuring them to remain strong because the Father will be with them throughout.

The next time your first reaction would be to snap off an answer, take a few seconds and ask not only for the wisdom to handle the situation, but the words necessary to resolve it in a manner that will allow you to be an example of His love.

Wisdom

James 1:5   But anyone who needs wisdom should ask God, whose very nature is to give to everyone without a second thought, without keeping score.  Wisdom will certainly be given to those who ask.

Through the next 5 posts I’m going to be going into a process that I use to help me through difficult situations.  Do I use it every time?  No, sadly I don’t, but when I do, I find that the situation diffuses itself a bit quicker.  The outcome is a bit better and I don’t feel like I’ve been a total caveman to those whom I love.

How many times have we been faced with something for which we don’t have an answer or possibly all the information?  If you’re like me at all and we’re all a bit similar in this regard, we jump in with both feet.  We may get frustrated, irritated and/or angry.  It could be that we freeze, trying to call on a past experience for guidance. But how many times have you stopped, taken a breath, looked skyward and said “God, I need your help”?  Probably less often than we should have.  It doesn’t even have to be a confrontational situation.

A few years ago, I was faced with obtaining a license to sell insurance.  It’s a computer based multiple choice test approved by the state and administered by a 3^rd party.  You have 90 minutes to complete 100 questions on a variety of topics, in this case, on property and casualty insurance.  I’d study daily at least 4 hours a day for about 2 weeks.  Even though I had a background in insurance and knew a lot of the terms and concepts, I was far from being confident.  In practice exams I scored at or just below the passing threshold, but now it was time for the real thing and I had to make the leap.

I pulled into a parking stall about 20 minutes before my scheduled time and tried to steady my nerves.  With about 5 minutes left, I looked up and literally said, “God, I’m leaving this to you.  I don’t know all the answers and I’m going to need your help.”  Braced with a bit more confidence, I walked in to the office, they sat me down, gave me my instructions and the clock started ticking.

I was 3 or 4 questions into the test when I came across the first one I couldn’t answer.  I read the question and answers several times and just couldn’t find the right answer.  I bowed my head, closed my eyes and said “Father, please help me!”.  A letter appeared in my mind and I put that down.  Through the remainder of the test when I’d come across an questions I wasn’t sure of or didn’t know the answer, I’d go through the same process.

When I finished, with about 20 minutes to spare, I closed the browser and made the slow walk out of the exam room and to the test proctor just outside of the room.  As I turned the corner, he had no expression but as I got close to his desk, he handed me my results and congratulated me.  No, I don’t know if I scored 100% or just enough to pass (it’s a pass/fail situation) but I do know that each time I bowed my head and asked for help, I got it.  I received the wisdom from God.

I could share other stories, but I’m sure if you think back there have been times that you’ve come to a resolution only because you looked to Him.  The next time you’re faced with a situation, before jumping off without a clue, take a breath, bow your head and ask…

Oh How I Wish I Was…

For me, I’d finish that statement with, fishing with my son and my wife.  How many times have you thought or uttered that very phrase and how have you ended it?

In a perfect world, we’d do what we wanted and when we wanted to do it.  In a perfect world, we’d have no deadlines, no appointments to make.  We’d not have to worry about getting groceries, mowing the yard or changing the oil in the car.

Well, not that you don’t already know this, but here’s a news flash.  We don’t!  Someday, we will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  I’m both excited at the thought of being there some day but also don’t want to rush that trip. Until then, we must deal with the confines of this earthly existence.  So, then, what do we do?

We can moan and complain about all the BS we experience day to day (and before you stop reading, there’s nothing wrong with venting once in a while.  I do it and most of the time I feel much better after “dumping” it out of my head but once the dump has occurred, I have to let it go.  If I don’t, and if you don’t, then we’re sending out bad energy with the good).

Or, there’s always spending the day staring off into space dreaming of “oh how I wish I was…” but where’s that going to get you?  To quote an old classic “another day older and deeper in debt.”  Again, nothing wrong with spending some time in that fantastic daze to escape for a while, but within reason.

I’ve fallen into each of these categories to excess, but I’d like to think I’ve gotten a handle on that with a fairly simple activity.  I took what I believe to be a God-given talent and have ventured to make a difference in the lives of others.  Through my actions, directed by God and by my words, (well probably God’s words through my hand) this site was created.

Take a look around your church or in your community.  Talk to your pastor or to a trusted friend and then dig inside.  Pray, ask Him for direction.  Think about what do you do well and what you enjoy doing. Ask yourself “what is my gift from God?”   For the longest time I said ‘I don’t know’, but really what I was saying is ‘I don’t know if I want to do it’.

In my case, I’ve taken the perspective that if I can simply touch, I mean really touch and impact just 1 person with this page, then I have made a difference and I’ve been a good steward of the gift given to me.

Find your one thing and start doing it today.  But don’t stop dumping, don’t stop dreaming and always make sure you’ve got a little time to bait your hook and get your line wet.

Stand in Wonder

It’s been unseasonably cool around here this summer and it’s been a welcome break from the norm.  That said, a breeze brushed against my face as I was leaving work the other day and even with the weather, it was still very welcome because of the urban setting in which I work – even an 85 degree day can feel oppressive.

The breeze that blew across my face rustled the leaves of a tree in the parking lot and it made me look up.  I stopped my journey to my truck and just looked around for a moment.  The sky was so blue and it looked like it went on forever.  One little puffy cloud could be seen likely dancing to the tune that the birds were singing.

I started thinking about the all that I have in my life.  My son and wife, my brother, in-laws (I don’t like that term because they are truly just family and in-law has such a negative feel).  I thought about the times I’ve spent camping and fishing.  The drives I’ve taken and the many scenic views I’ve seen.

I’m sure I probably only stood there for a few seconds but it felt like I was there several minutes – mouth open in amazement.  As I walked off the steps, a song came to my heart and I began singing it silently in my head and before I reached my truck, I was signing out loud….”How great is our God, sing with me, how great is our God and all will sing how great, how great is our God”.

I’m quite sure just as with everything else, that moment was planned by His great hands, that breeze was just a gentle reminder to stop and look around.  I hope that these words will serve in the same manner.  Please stop and look around today and maybe you’ll just stand in wonder of His amazing gifts.

Geyser

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10  ⁹ Two are better than one because they have a good return for their hard work. ¹⁰ If either should fall, one can pick up the other. But how miserable are those who fall and don’t have a companion to help them up!

I had a DIY emergency recently, and something you should know, my skill level allows me to change a light bulb but probably very little else. I have to generally rely on my wife and the skills she learned from her dad, MacGyver, or trained professionals. It’s not that I’m not smart enough, nor is it that I don’t want to learn it, or do it.  It’s that I can’t seem to readily translate the mechanical thoughts in my mind to the bolt I’m turning.

Anyway, we had been awoken by our son, who had gotten up to see if it was raining  – only to find that the seam on the side of the water heater was no long a seam but a nozzle. I went downstairs to find a sizeable stream of water shooting out about 6 feet from “old faithful”.

We got the water shut off, and things moved out of the way, and my wife mopped up some of the puddles. I immediately got on Facebook to work my magic. I have a decent mix of friends – all with a number of different skills. I wanted to see if anyone could recommend a plumber.

It wasn’t 5 minutes, and a friend told me it was easy and I should do it myself. Then another chimed in with the same recommendation. I laughed a bit and as I shared it with my wife, she started to get this look of fear that I might just consider it. (I was but wasn’t about to share that with her.) Instead, I made a joke about it with my friends and one came back “Call me”. It’s 12:15 AM, I’m not going to call anyone one unless death is imminent. About 10 minutes later, he sent me a text, “Call me” to which I responded, “now?”

Well I did, and immediately he offered to come over and help me replace the water heater. I told my wife, and she seemed ok with it. I told him I’d call him later in the day and we ended the call.

Now I didn’t take him up on the offer. We found a plumber who was VERY reasonable and we had them there and gone within 12 hours of the initial geyser.

If you ran upon my friend, while he’s respectful, he’s also a bit rough around the edges, but I’ve had the opportunity to know him a bit better. I know that while we see many things from the same perspective, there are topics that we’ll never see eye to eye. I know that the church, and more importantly God, is very important in his life, but I’ve learned something new about him today.

The words that come from his mouth about his beliefs, about his faith, and about the importance of God, aren’t just words. He genuinely takes those words to heart. There’s a song that talks about us being the body of Christ and asks, “If we are the Body, why aren’t His arms reaching? Why aren’t His hands healing? Why aren’t His feet going?”

Well today, He was – through my friend.

 “Father, I have so many things to be thankful for, not the least of which are my friends. Be with them, protect them through this day and all their days. Amen.

John 14:2-6

New International Version (NIV)

² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.” ⁵ Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” ⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I find this passage interesting it can take on so many different meanings depending on the situation and the person.  I however through these words and prayer have found that what is being revealed is that we can only make that journey to His house through his Son Jesus Christ.

Some believe that by being baptized we have come to Him and we have a promise of eternal life.  Others believe that by being baptized and attending church every week, singing loudly from the hymnal they will find their way to the everlasting promise

In these words I find both these statements to be true but there is one aspect that is missing, a personal relationship with the Jesus Christ.  A relationship built through constant conversation with Him.  Daily time devoted to Him for prayer, praise and conversation.

Stop and think about this for a moment.  We each have at least 1 person with whom we talk to daily, sometimes multiple times in a day, updating them on life, the good, the bad and the mundane and getting updates on them and their family as well.  We may call them a friend, spouse or parent, really it doesn’t matter, the point is you go out of your way to make time to continue and build this relationship.

So why is it any different with our Savior, Jesus Christ?  We need to make time to have a conversation with Him every day not only to update Him about what’s going on in our lives but also to praise Him for all He has done.  We also need to take some time to listen for His answers and guidance.

Make a plan to build your relationship with Him.  It can be as simple as turning off the radio on the way to work and having a short chat with Him.  Start simple and short, say 5 minutes.  Before you know it, you’ll fill the commute and will be turning to Him throughout your day.

I started with “Father thank you for all that you’ve done and all that you’ve given me.  Father I ask for forgiveness for not always following your Son’s words.  Help me today to be a light for You.”  I’d repeat it a couple of times, after a few days I found I was adding concerns, prayers for friends and family.  Now my morning commute is spent with an old and trustworthy friend. Find time today to reconnect with Him and you too will find your way through Him.

What If?

Luke 18:9-14  The Pharisee and the tax collector

 9 Jesus told this parable to certain people who had convinced themselves that they were righteous and who looked on everyone else with disgust: 10 “Two people went up to the temple to pray. One was a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed about himself with these words, ‘God, I thank you that I’m not like everyone else—crooks, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week. I give a tenth of everything I receive.’ 13 But the tax collector stood at a distance. He wouldn’t even lift his eyes to look toward heaven. Rather, he struck his chest and said, ‘God, show mercy to me, a sinner.’ 14 I tell you, this person went down to his home justified rather than the Pharisee. All who lift themselves up will be brought low, and those who make themselves low will be lifted up.”

I heard that over the weekend – the story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.  It was an interesting presentation and one that’s had me contemplating the message that Jesus was trying convey in that particular moment, but then my mind wanders and…

In the lesson, they both go to temple (church in today’s terms).  The Pharisee lifts his voice very high and begins to thank God for how great he is and how thankful he is for NOT being a tax collector.  The tax collector bows and asks God to forgive him because he has sinned.

I believe the point of the message was that one should not look down upon another and also we should humble ourselves before the Lord our God – which are messages each of us should take to heart.

…If you read the story, it does not say where each of these men went or what they did afterward.  I suspect that they each went back to their respective lives with little changed.

But what if?  What if the Pharisee heard the prayer of the tax collector and instead of looking down his nose, he listened to the words and realized himself that he has made mistakes, and humbly came to God to ask for forgiveness?  What if after humbling himself, he offered his hand to his brother in Christ and helped the tax collector off his knees?

What if the tax collector heard the prayer of the Pharisee and instead of grumbling about the words and condemnation spoken by the Pharisee, he took the words to realize he has work to do.  What if he realized that the Pharisee was someone he could work to be more like even with all of the flaws he knows the Pharisee doesn’t acknowledge about himself?  What if the tax collector takes the hand of the Pharisee and instead of accepting the help up they help each other up?

I’ve been a “temple goer” for a number of years, and I’ve been both the Pharisee and the tax collector.  I’ve also seen and heard both within the confines of the church.  But what if instead of seeing or being either one, we work to be more like Christ?  What if that’s what Jesus was asking us to do?

Prayer:  “Father God, I humbly come to you and ask for forgiveness.  I’ve made so many mistakes.  Father help me to change.   Let me see when I start to judge others and Father help me to be a humble role model for those around me.”

Practice

1 John 4:14 “And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.”

As Christians, I believe our Father wishes us to not just to accept Jesus as our Savior, to bring Him into our heart, but also that we go to the mountain top, to our friends, neighbors and the guy next to you in line at the grocery store, and share the glorious news.

I find this next part funny.  Just as with any parent child relationship, if our parents want us to do something we are likely going to procrastinate, complain and avoid the one thing they ask of us.  Oh eventually we’ll do it, but begrudgingly.  Let’s take for instance, practicing.  Most of us have had a sport or an instrument that we enjoyed playing but did not care for the hours of preparation needed behind the scene.  Our parents ask, sometimes even tell us, “go play the trumpet 15 more minutes” or “let’s get 30 more swings in”.  We stomped, mumbled, whined or possibly a little of each of them as we went ahead and did what we were told.

Then one day, you’re up at the plate, 2 outs 2 on, bottom of the 9^th.  You dig in and look to the mound at an imposing figure.  All of a sudden, the ball is headed your way.  Everything is now in slow motion and you think back to your dad hollering out, “come on just 30 more swings”, and realize he was preparing you for this moment.  Confidence builds…and then the realization, your folks were right, practice is important.

Our heavenly Father is asking us for just 30 more swings, 15 minutes on the piano.  I’ll be honest; I have found it difficult to share with others the good news.  I’ve mumbled, whined and maybe stomped a bit.  However, it’s easier now than it was and every time I tell my stories of how I came to Him, how He rescued me on several occasions, I find myself filled a bit more with confidence, with the Spirit.  The light, the fire of God burning brighter than it ever has before!

Today, as you’re going through the mundanes, don’t be shy, take a few minutes to tell someone about the grace He offers us all.

 Father, I don’t always want to do what You want me to, for that I am sorry. Today, give me the words to share Your love with another…Amen

Just What I Needed.

Earlier this summer, we went to a state park here in Missouri that I’ve been visiting for over 35 years.  The park boasts hiking trails, camping, a fish hatchery and a spring-fed river that is stocked with the trout raised at the hatchery.

Every time I enter the park I can recall memories of times spent there with my father, with my brother and now my son.  I’ve met some great people there and stayed connected with 1 or 2.

The park itself has changed substantially; the 100-year-old lodge has closed.  There’s been a bait shop that’s opened and now closed and been torn down.  A new lodge and hotel built.

Along the river, they’ve built a few platforms to allow those who are less agile to get right up to the river and capture some of the same memories I carry with me – like my son’s first catch along the river, him running up the bank rather than reeling in the fish, the whole time screaming at me that he needed some help.

Then there’s the time, like his father, he fell knee deep into that 55 degree water.  He’s a bit younger than I was and both of us showed great restraint in the words chosen and the volume used when that water got to our skin.

Yeah, that place has changed so dramatically but it is still exactly what we remember and is exactly what we need as we drive down into the valley.  It’s funny but my relationship with God is so similar.

As I’ve grown older and managed to learn a bit more, developing my perspective on our heavenly Father, the relationship I have with Him is exactly how I remember it and always what I need.  There have been times in my life I’ve turned my back to Him, quite convinced that I didn’t need Him or even more so, that He wasn’t listening and wasn’t there for me.  But just like that park, and more importantly just like that old river, He’s still there for me, exactly how I remembered Him and just what I needed.

If you’ve not had a chat with God in a while, or been to visit Him, take a few moments today to spend a little time with Him.  I think you’ll find He’s there waiting and He’ll be just what you needed.

 Psalms 73: 23 But I was still always with you! You held my strong hand!